I psychoanalytical psychotherapist who enjoys working with individuals and couples from my consulting rooms in South London (on a quiet residential street near Dulwich). I am a psychotherapist who enjoys running, cycling and tennis. For me, psychotherapy is about the mind and the body. As a psychotherapist, I like to draw on the tennis tournament Roland Garros as much as psychoanalytical books. Psychotherapy is an energetic discipline, and requires stamina and persistence. If you are looking to work with a psychotherapist in South London in person, or by zoom, I would be delighted to hear from you. I am also part of the fantastic group practice at Number 42 Borough High Street in SE1, a few minutes from London Bridge. I am a full clinical member of the UKCP and also the Guild of Psychotherapists.

The best way to get in touch is to email me or leave me a phone message or text.

I am a lively and warm therapist. I am often approached by individuals from creative backgrounds, in theatre, music, television and business.

I will ask you questions, as well as listen to what you say. I see the psychotherapeutic encounter as the intermingling of two subjectivities. I have a sense of humour! My PhD was about the influence of family histories, and involved conducting an oral history with three generations in twenty families. Multi-generational family dynamics and patterns can be very illuminating in understanding your present life. It is is possible to repeat, reverse, or edit such family scripts.

My psychoanalytical training involves a deeper type of listening, tuning into both conscious and unconscious patterns.

I would compare it to a long distance run. It takes time and effort, but can be hugely rewarding and life changing.

I generally work with individuals and couples for longer periods of time. I always welcome clients who are able to see me in person. I have comfortable consulting rooms in London Bridge and in Dulwich.

Alternatively, I can work with you on line.

I am an experienced psychotherapist, executive coach, and consultant, who enjoys working with both individuals and couples in creative and lively ways aimed at bring about psychological change and growth. I am trained in a psychoanalytical approach, which means that I can work with complex and deep seated issues, requiring more intensive attention. I also work on shorter term problems, with a more solution focused approach.

I am often approached by individuals in the creative fields, entrepreneurs, finance leaders, consultants and self-employed individuals. I welcome enquiries from inside and outside London.

I hold a BA in Politics, Philosophy and Economics (1991), Oxford University, MA (1995), PhD Essex University (1999)

Full clinical member of the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy

I trained as an adult psychoanalytical psychotherapist at the Guild of Psychotherapists

Here are some quotes from thinkers which help animate my work

"I like to dance in the pressure storm" Jannick Sinner, Tennis no1, interviewed by McCrae, Observer 25th May 2024

"The natural thing is playing …

It is play that is the universal, and that belongs to health: playing facilitates growth and therefore health; playing leads into group relationships; playing can be a form of communication in psychotherapy; and, lastly, psychoanalysis has been developed as a highly specialized form of playing in the service of communication with oneself and others."

- Donald Winnicott

"The patient who will not suffer pain fails to ‘suffer’ pleasure"

- Wilfred Bion

"The human psyche, like human bones, is strongly inclined towards self-healing. The psychotherapist's job, like that of the orthopaedic surgeon's, is to provide the conditions in which self-healing can best take place."

- John Bowlby

From, 'A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy

Human Development', 1988, p.152

“That dates from something I used to do at school. I was at boarding school, and I would climb out of the window after lights out and we'd all gone to bed. We were in the middle of the Berkshire countryside. And I would go for long walks in the middle of the night. You know, kind of thing adolescents do. And I discovered what it was like to stand still in the middle of a field, right out in the country, and just listen. And stay there, and stay there, and after 10 minutes, you hear far more than you thought. 20 minutes, you're hearing a whole sort of symphony orchestra of nocturnal sounds. And then after half an hour, it's a bloody racket. And there's nothing that wasn't there at the beginning. But by just cultivating a kind of internal stillness, you become able to hear a whole lot more than you were. And I thought, thinking back to this, this is just like what psychoanalytic listening is like.”

- Michael Parsons

" ... The doctor is as much ‘in the analysis’ as the patient. He is equally a part of the psychic process of treatment and therefore equally exposed to the transforming influences. Indeed, to the extent that the doctor shows himself impervious to this influence, he forfeits influence over the patient; and if he is influenced only unconsciously, there is a gap in his field of consciousness which makes it impossible for him to see the patient in true perspective."

- Carl Gustav Jung

(1929, Collected Works 16, para. 166)

Here are some recent reflections from individuals who have worked with me

Extremely thoughtful, empathetic and supportive.

01 Feb 2024

Ajay's insightful guidance and empathetic approach have been transformative for me. He has an exceptional knack for highlighting perspectives and insights that have led me to understand myself better, all while fostering an environment where I felt empowered to discover my own solutions.

Gentle, compassionate and patient. I feel comfortable with Mr Ajay Khandelwal, supported and intrigued by the ever unfolding nature of our work together.

31 Jan 2024

My experience with Ajay has been exemplary. I find him to be kind, insightful and very understanding.

30 Jan 2024

Ajay is a warm, welcoming and considerate therapist who has helped me overcome mental health challenges over an extended period. I would recommend him to a friend and have made so much progress over the course of our sessions.

01 Dec 2023

My wife and I I are extremely grateful that Ajay was our counsellor as he had the necessary patience, expertise and skill at helping my wife and me with our presenting problem. He remained calm, focussed and positive throughout our sessions, offering remarkable insight and positivity throughout. The environment felt safe, discreet and comfortable which set the scene and gave us the confidence required to talk openly about any issue that arose. He was non-judgemental which allowed us to speak candidly on personal subjects that were difficult to confront on our own. Personally, I felt comfortable being confronted with some difficult home truths, but my wife was more anxious discussing certain topics. Ajay was sensitive to us both and was understanding when dealing with emotive topics. We became more open as the sessions progressed and learnt to express ourselves without rancour. This was probably the greatest gain from the sessions: learning the importance of avoiding damaging misunderstandings that has led to positive understanding of one another. In a word, the counselling has made us happier with the insight into our relationship. There was never a doubt that we loved each other going into the sessions, but to have it demonstrated to ourselves by Ajay was something of a gift. In all, we were in therapy for almost a year which is longer than either of us anticipated. Once we reached a point that we agreed upon to end the counselling, we worked collectively towards an end point. Ajay was clear that we were not "locked into" the sessions ad infinitum, so we worked towards a conclusion to the sessions which left us feeling that we had completed the work we turned up for. Ajay was professional, personable and, most importantly, non-judgemental throughout. This allowed us the freedom to express ourselves and take an active role in the talking therapies. Speaking problems out loud made all the difference with a skilful listener guiding us. Highly recommended.

23 Nov 2023

Even though you cannot always put your finger on what's exactly helpful during each of those sessions, when you zoom out to your progress over the months, it's definitely working and making things better.

20 Nov 2023